23rd November
Alright, continue with the story from this morning.
Went to NSQ meeting in 10am.
Major chest pain. Like something was burning a hell out if me inside.
Sore throat are getting worsen, and I have to endure starvation after da last sandwich I had yesterday 5pm, the last meal I had with her was fully digested till this afternoon 2pm.
Went to Kopitiam n have my 1st meal of the day.
Went to DP with Kent and Kenjii
note* Accompany Kenjii find his girl .
After that I "beg" my friend to accompany me for the day.
Cuz being alone will make me crazy in such a mood I'm having now.
We loiter around in DP with no directions or purpose.
1st time Im in the mall with a messy hair and plain silly looking T tht I only wear at home.
Great...how can I show my face again there? T,T
Memories of what's happening yesterday just flash through my head.
How sad....cuz things turns out the way I dont wish to happen.
My greatest fear had just came true.
But nevermind..atleast I'm being honest to everyone and myself for not hiding what I really thinks. Cause that is what I always believe in.
Honesty,Trust and Faith can make the world a better place.
haha..but it seems Im too naive..
After lunch
We went for pool with Kent n Kenjii
And joined by JS n Dennis after awhile.
Guess what...I met Weekiat there again =='
n so we play pool for 2 hours+ like I used to do when Im in a bad mood
*at1st I wana go Jetty n feel da sea breeze..but its damn hot and I scare Im gona jump to the sea ..xP kiddin~
While I was playing, I felt a sudden excruciating chest pain that I can barely even stand up straight.
I just went dizzy nausea.
Plus, my finger are cramping for the 1st time in my life! when Im playing.
With all those symptoms, Im suffering dehydration.
cuz since yesterday night I havent even touch a drop of water except a VERY SERIOUSLY CONCENTRATED Coffee in the afternoon at Kopitiam.
Thanks Kent for buying me a bottle of water.
And I still felt dizzy throughout the game and also in the evening.
Ohya, I have to thank Weekiat too for the concern when we are in the pool centre.
We went back to MP after the game and have my 2nd drink at Mp pearl.
Together with Dennis,HS,Kent,Kenjii
We chat alot and they all make me laugh alot today.
But little do they know how aching i'm, suffering inside.
A few times I was sobbing when I recall back the sweet times "WE" had ,
and why things had to turns out this way today.
My chest are still aching, or should I say burning.
I don't know how long it gona stay like this.
But God, please, Stop torturing me anymore.
Im glad my friends are around,
They always cheers me up with their silly act and jokes.
They just never change. =)
They plan to eat at Wong Kok.
But we end up eating in DeFun or Xin Tian Di.
because WK was flooded with people.
I didnt order any food cept for a glass of "Stocking tea"
Im hungry, but I just don't have any appetite to put any food inside my stomache.
Well, don't worry..Atleast I ate some of the "Tauhu" HS ordered.
Im so envy, how Dennis and HS can be so sweet together.
No arguments, no fighting and how they can talk about almost everything together.
and so as HS cousin n her bf. They came to find HS when we are in XTD.
They plan to go ride the Eyes Of Malaysia.
n they ask me n Kent to come along.
Aww..don't they scare I really jump down from there?
haha..
How funny and ironic at the same time.
Me n Kent turn down the invite and head home.
Well..Kent went home after I fetch him to get his bike at my house.
n I went Habeeb, near MMU to find my classmate.
Its their turn to accompany me at night time ..haha
Like usual, they are funny as ever..
I feel better mentally,although the burning pain inside my chest are still tormenting me physically.
Now I know why they call it a Heart broken.
The feelings are just like you really broke your heart.
Blood rushing out from your heart n overflowing your chest, suffocating you from taking a breath and torturing you with that burning hot gas.
Its like a Hell was living inside your body.
Eric,PJ,Tze,Alvin,HongY,KYee,Sim
We went to cafe for some games and it did bring my mood up ..
but ...
when we are paying the bills
I found out that I hav only RM 9 left for this month to spend.
One of the 4 big problem I have.
Running low on cash to use.
Im sucks..
Probably the biggest failure in the man history.
Cause I have nothing.
I'm having problem on money cause I dont even have a career.
My laptop is dead.
Big and alot of problems in my studies.
n now..I even make the one I love the most leave and hate me because of my Curiousity n Jealousy for asking her too much.
I had nothing left.
How I wish I cud just dissapear so that I wont bring problems to my friends and family.
Now im back home..alone again..and Im still suffering from the pain of my burning chest...and the grumbling sound from my empty stomache that prevents me from going to sleep peacefully..
n I had to say sorry to all the friends that suggest me to forget bout her and go on with my life.
Im sorry I cant do that, Cause shes already a part of my life,
n no one can ever replace that place.
You can call me an idiot, sucks, obsessed or whatever...Thats just me..
n Thank you for those who giving me support and courage to hold on ..
Im really grateful.. and thanks a million, to all my friends who are giving me both mentally and physically support this whole time.
They can sacrifice their time just to teach a stupid math idiot like me so that I can pass my exam.
Time to time reminding me exam is coming when im still dreaming everyday.
Accompany me when I felt lonely and bored.
Never let me down when I needed them.
Giving me advise and telling me what I do wrong and correct me to the right way.
When I pissed them off with my bad attitude, they only angry for a little while and will actually try to let me know that what I did was not appropriate and change me into a better person.
Let me know that they are always here for me no matter what and will be available 24/7 if I needed them.
Sending me msges to make sure I'm alright although I have told them many times that Im fine.
They never felt tired, annoyed or frustrated Listening to my crap stories when I need someone to talk to.
Woke up in the middle of the night just to answer my phone and hear my "grandmother's story".
Encouraging and giving me confidence when I was about to give up.
Tolerate and still acknowledge me as a friend eventhough I have been treating them alil rude.
Don't want to see me die cause still wana see my "xiong lan" face..haha
Come out just to have a tea with me although he's still rushing to complete his homework.
And most importantly they are all True to me. Where we share no secrets and they never lied to you eventhough what they are gona say can hurt or even humiliate you.
Thats what strengthens our friendships..cuz nothing can affects our friendship..RIGHT GUYS ? !!!
There's still alot of things these Friends have done for me that I cant manage finish listing them all cause they are still growing more and more..
Although sometimes they Tease me, make fun of me, making jokes out of me
But it makes me felt that Im actually something to you guys, and you guys notice my existence.
Somehow we are all important to each other and want to hold on to this friendship forever.
And we wont fight nor hate each other for some silly misunderstanding or whatever that might hit us. As long as we are true to each other. Nothing's gona bring us apart.
Thank you, all my friends...
Family,Friends,Her..
They are the most important thing in my life
I don't want to lose any of them
I'll do everything to keep them in one piece...
Even if I had to die.
( Dont worry my friend, I wont commit suicide ==' I still need to live so I can take care of them )
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